"Sheena's Second Guessing"

Posted on Sun Jul 4th, 2021 @ 5:22pm by Lieutenant Commander Sheena Toran-Blake
Edited on on Sun Jul 4th, 2021 @ 10:54pm

Mission: The Thorion Conundrum Mission Brief
Location: Serina's Quarters
Timeline: Current

ON:

From the time Sheena was just an Ensign, she never dreamed she would become an Executive officer, but here she is, the XO of the Leto. So why was she second guessing herself?

The fact of the matter was, and still is, she has always been a quiet officer. She gets the job done quietly and quickly. Her security training has always helped her to stay alive and bring closure to her operations. Never much of a party person, more of a manual reader. Exercising her security moves and her battle tactics, never slouching in her duty, maintaining the one thing that mattered to her the most….."Everyone comes home alive."

Sitting cross legged on the couch, she looked at the picture of Ryan. It made her eyes tear up as she really missed him, but at that precise moment she caught a fit of anger. Getting up, she picked up a book and threw it just missing Ryan's picture. "You told me that being an officer was going to be my calling. You and a dozen teachers and a few instructors said I would be a great ambassador. So I went ahead and did become what you all wanted. Tell me now why I am having second guesses? Huh? Tell me why I feel like I am failing in my duties as an XO and Ambassador! Even Maia might have second thoughts…….!" Sheena yelled at the picture. Picking up her boot she threw it again at the picture and just missed knocking it over.

Whirling around, she grabbed the nearest chair and threw it at the picture, this time she connected with it and sent it into the wall, smashing it. "There! That's what you get for making me feel like a fool!!!" she yelled, sinking into the couch again this time crying.

Through the tears, her computer chirped and the screen opened up revealing a picture of her father. "Sheena? Sweetheart?", he said. Sheena got up and sat in front of her computer. Angrily, "What do you want now?" she said.

Vaughn Toran looked at his daughter, "Well I just thought I would say hello…..what the blazes is going on Sheena? Who are you fighting with now?" he asked.

"The world! What difference does it matter…...I'm a failure as an XO and as an Ambassador ok…...Does that answer your question?" she said with venom in her voice.

Vaughn called his wife to the computer and explained to her what Sheena said. Verinnia looked at her daughter, " Sheena, what makes you feel like this?" she asked softly in a way that was comforting to her daughter.

Calming a bit, "Everything, I can't do my job, I've let the captain down, Ryan is hurt, several away team members were captured and hurt and…….I'm a lousy Ambassador!" Sheena said, tears running down her cheeks.

"Sheena, listen, when I was your age and just getting used to my new position, I felt the same way. I couldn't do anything like the way I thought it was supposed to be. I…", Verinnina never finished it because Sheena cut her off…..

"You had it easy...you were trained for exactly that...an Ambassador! I'm not an Ambassador, I was a Security Chief and part of SIF. I was never looking to be an Executive officer. All I wanted to do was be Security Chief!" Sheena yelled, crying at her mother.

Verinnia looked sadly at her struggling daughter. She knew just what Sheena was going through and now with what was happening on Betazed would make it even harder on her. "Sheena, you must be strong daughter. Starfleet saw greater things in you than you are willing to accept. Even the Rear Admiral saw something in you that neither of us saw, potential. You have the ability to be a great Executive Officer and Ambassador if you just give yourself a chance. Stop second guessing yourself. Maia would never have chosen you for her Number One if she didn't believe in your ability to be exactly what she needed on the Leto. Ryan believes in you and he can help you as well Sheena. Listen to your Imzadi, he will not steer you wrong. You have friends on the ship as well. Go, listen and talk to them and you will benefit from being with them," her mother said smiling.

"But mom, I didn't see this coming from the Betazed government either. Why now? How could the two houses do this? Break from the Federation after all this time," Sheena said wondering.

Vaughn spoke this time, "Sheena you will find out soon enough. Your captain has the orders already. Go and speak with her. She will explain it better as we don't have permission to speak about it over sub-space," just then the screen went blank. Shocked at how abruptly the computer cut out, Sheena became concerned for her parents now.

OFF:

Lt. Cmdr. Sheena Toran
Executive Officer
USS Leto. NCC 80916