Return to full duty.

Posted on Thu Nov 18th, 2021 @ 4:59am by Lieutenant Commander Ryan Blake & Lieutenant Emily Coleman

Mission: The Thorion Conundrum Mission Brief
Location: Counselor's Office

Ryan arrived at the counseling offices and logged in with the psych tech for his appointment with Emily. He was hoping to get his final clearance for a return to full duty, hopefully.

Emily came out of her office and greeted her paitent. "Hello, Commander. I hope you have not been waiting long?"

Ryan was still at the check-in desk as Emily exited her office. He gave a small wave of his hand and a shake of his head. "I was just letting the tech know I was here."

"I apologize for the slight delay, I was just finalizing some reports and lost track of the time. Come on in." Coleman stated to Blake as she welcomed him in for his session.

Ryan chuckled. "All good Counselor. I am actually a few minutes early anyway." He gestured to her office replicator. "You mind?"

"By all means, help yourself, Commander." Emily replied as she grabbed her glass of Andorian cider from her desk and took a sip.

Ryan ordered up a Bajoran spring water for himself before taking a seat in the chair. "Shall we jump right in?"

"We shall." Coleman replied. "So this is our follow up to discuss what you have been through and to see if you can handle the day to day and get back in the full action. So first off, how are you feeling today?"

Ryan let out a long sigh and cocked his head to one side for a moment before answering. " Well, that's a bit complicated. The...prisoner you met earlier in my office...she is...someone I knew a long time ago. Someone I was close with."

"Well that is weighing on your mind some. Please discuss how that is affecting your emotional state?" Coleman asked as this would have some bearing on his over all condition and she wanted to make sure the emotional signals she was picking up were not linked to his overall condition to get back to work.

Ryan looked passed Emily as if he was staring into the distance. "Confused mostly. I was once in love with...Lieutenant Monroe. I had planned to propose to her following graduation from the Academy, but then she disappeared...for five years. She comes back into my life just as I am considering asking Sheena to marry me. I'm not sure if I should feel angry or sad or...anything."

"The emotions you are experiencing are normal. The feeling of wonder and then the feeling of anger often are joined in times like this. You are seemingly holding yourself together, but talking about the emotions will help you proceed healthier than holding them in. It will also help you get back into the work you are so aching to return to." Emily replied. "So get this can of worms open and let's get this out of your way. What made you love her?"

Ryan was quiet for nearly a minute as he gave thought to Emily's question. He thought of Sheena towards the end of his silent pondering. "Marina was a lot like Sheena. Strong, decisive and she excelled at everything she put her mind to, but...I feel as if she betrayed Starfleet when she returned to the Caliphate." He knew it was more than that. "I...feel like she betrayed me."

"I bet that is a hard feeling to overcome. After all, you did not expect to cross paths with her again after your split." Coleman replied. "I am sensing you are still torn as you love Sheena and yet there is still something inside you longing for Marina. This feeling is deep inside and you are not even fully aware of just how it is affecting you. I would say that over time you will come to figure out just what it is and I am here to help."

Ryan sighed. "I was going to propose to her during the after Graduation party. Another one of our friends beat me to the punch and asked his girlfriend first. I didn't want to detract anything from their night, so I figured I'd wait until the following morning. Breakfast in bed at the hotel. She raises the platter to see the engagement ring, except...I wake up the next morning and she is gone. The next time I see her is today after I remove the mask she was wearing."

"So, you have been holding in the hurt you felt all these years. I bet that was something that made you self realize your life could have been so different." Emily replied. "I would say that you need to address your inner turmoil and get it out to at least help yourself be able to rise above and be a stronger person overall. You can share all you need to get out with me and then that likely will help you be prepared to return to full duty. As long as you have any inner turmoil, you risk having a delay in all your future judgement calls that would be required of a man in your position on this ship."

Ryan shook his head. He had not considered what his life right now would be like had Marina not disappeared the way she did. The year being with Sheena almost every day had been wonderful. "I try and not focus on what ifs Counselor. I wouldn't sacrifice what I have with Sheena for a hypothetical what could have been with Mari...with Lieutenant Monroe. Was I hurt by her disappearance? Yes. Did I go through the grieving process when I couldn't find out what happened? Sure. I eventually moved on. Lieutenant Monroe's return into my life is unexpected and a little disconcerting, but what we had at one point years ago is gone. Mostly I am trying to figure out how best to tell Sheena and convince her that Marina's presence isn't going to have an impact on us."

"Great, that sounds like the cover I expected to hear." Emily replied. "However, you seem to be aware that and with all that has been going on, I would say you are holding up well for what you have been through. I will say that you need to keep a regular session with me or another counselor at least once a month for next six months but otherwise you are clear for a full return to your duties."

Ryan felt a weight lift from him. He gave Emily a small smile and nod. "Thank you Counselor. I will consult with you at least once a month, more often if my anxiety raises to unmanageable levels."

"great, I will update the records after my next appointment. The captain will get notified once all is updated." Emily stated. "I trust you will be able to become a stronger man for Sheena once you are fully able to understand you emotions more with Marina on the ship. She is likely here to stay. They feel she is better where her twin brother is available to keep a telepathic eye on."

Ryan sighed softly. It was going to be a adjustment. He rose from his chair and nodded at Emily. "Have a good rest of your watch Counselor. I will see you in a few weeks."

"I will do that and you also have a great rest of your day. Give Sheena a 'Hello' from me." Emily stated as she stood up to go and get her next patient once Blake left her office.

[OFF]

LT CMDR Ryan Blake
Second/Chief Strategic Operations Officer
USS Leto NCC-80916

&

LT Emily Coleman
Counsellor, USS Leto