Pondering one's own Purpose

Posted on Fri Jul 8th, 2022 @ 12:44pm by Lieutenant Kasey Tanger

-ON-

Lt. Kasey Tanger was in his quarters alone. He was enjoying the solitude as he sat looking out the porthole to the starfield outside. He was in just a simple pair of silk boxers and ready for bed. As he looked out at the stars, he was pondering his purpose not only on this ship but his purpose in life.

"Computer, begin personal log." Kasey requested of the computer.

The computer complied and gave a chime for him to start recording.

"I am sitting here looking out at a the field of stars go by as the Leto cruises through space. I began to ponder what I was doing with my life and career. Was I being the man my parents raised me to be. I got in to the Diplomatic branch merely to honor them. I learned so much about the various cultures of the Federation from them as we traveled all over Federation Space. I originally wanted to be an Engineer. I studied that field along with on the related fields and then I shifted my focus to Diplomacy. I felt that my heart would be tied to my family if I pursued that career as it would keep a strong link to my parents. I never expected to end up serving on a starship which has a primary function of diplomacy as the Chief Diplomatic Officer. I relish the experience and enjoy working in diplomacy. Yet I am now feeling like I am not pulling my strength.

I also recently reunited with a long lost twin sister, whom I had never known existed. Betazoid twins are rare and so that is a unique familiar bond I can mold to be what we need it to be. After my parents passed, I was old enough to make my own way and that is how I learned engineering skills and I would often help with communication duties while in that phase of my life. Once I was old enough I enrolled in Starfleet to not only get a commission as an officer but to work for their diplomatic services. Now look at me.

I am living a life I never thought I would have after my parents passed. I have family now as Marina has been reunited but it is odd that I never knew of her until recently. My parents never revealed they had twins to anyone for some odd reason. Doctors never asked about the markers in my DNA that clearly indicated I had a twin. Since multiple births in Betazoids is extremely rare, the doctors had to notice this all the time but yet they never said anything. Marina opened a part of me that I was missing and now because of her I find myself wondering what more is there for me.

Am I to give up my diplomatic career to pursue other ambitions? Am I sure what I must do? I know I want to be involved in my sister's life. I know I want to pursue a relationship with Emily Coleman as she has opened a part of me that I never truly felt before as well. The girls I dated in my youth were just part of growing up. Sure we had fun and such but I never really felt compassion or love from them. Emily has ignited those emotions within me and I am enjoying them. My sister has also opened emotions within me that I never felt before either. I know I loved my parents but a sibling bond is something I never had until now.

So I guess I now realize that remaining in my current career is what I need to do. It is the right thing for me. I know somehow mom and dad have guided m to this decision. I hope that maybe I can pursue other skills on the side that will allow me to help more on the bridge when necessary. But I know I am meant to be a diplomate and help foster relations and peace. I think when it is possible I will attempt to talk to Captain Sterling to let her know I am willing to be of more use to the ship outside of the Diplomatic duties if she will have it. I would love to be of more use to all. Diplomats do not get much action and I would say that after the recent action on Betazed that is what got me thinking about this."

"Computer, end personal log." Kasey requested of the computer.

The computer then chimed that it finished recording.

"Computer, store log in Tanger file K3L4 for future reference." Kasey requested of the computer.

"File saved for Tanger, Lieutenant Kasey in file K3L4 for your future reference." The Computer replied.

"Computer, turn off lights." Kasey requested of the computer and it complied.

As the lights turned off, Kasey was still staring at the starfield. He then stepped towards his bed and laid down. He was ready to end this day and get some rest for the next day as he had to review two treaties that were sent to him by a fellow diplomat wanting a second opinion.

-OFF-